Return of the King
Have you ever wondered why the centerpiece of the Magic Kingdom is called Cinderella Castle? That makes no sense at all. It’s the centerpiece of a kingdom. That implies there is a king. In fact, the King appears in three Cinderella movies. It’s his kingdom. Although Disney is catering to little girls who want to be a princess, I think it’s clearly time for the Return of the King.
Disney seems to be pushing all the little boys to be pirates modeled after Captain Jack Sparrow. He’s a fun character, but he’s not even King of the Pirates. They gave that job to a woman! The Princess theme keeps coming back, even in a pirate flick. That just ain’t right, man.
It’s time for the return of the King. We have plenty of Princesses in Disney movies of the past decade or two. Notice how none of them are Queens, though? I’m told that it’s too much work to be a Queen, so they teach all the little girls to become a Princess. It works. You never fail to see some little girls in the Magic Kingdom wearing a Princess dress from one Disney movie or the other. It’s just that a Kingdom ought to have a King.
Where are the role models for young boys in Disney movies? To be fair, there are six princes to match six fairy tale princesses in Disney movies. Yet two of them need to be rescued by the princess and a couple of them are completely bland. Aladdin seems to be the only one who can hold his own, and he still plays second fiddle to Jasmine. I suppose the only real male role models in Disney films are dogs — Pongo and the Tramp. Is that what we are — dogs?
No, we men are not dogs! It’s time to rise up. It’s time to once again storm the castle. It’s time for the return of the King.