Those Damn Droids

This is why the Stormtroop­ers could never find those damn droids they were look­ing for. (note: you have no idea how much it pains me to end a sen­tence with a preposition)

The prob­lem with search­ing for those damn droids doesn’t really rest with the droids them­selves. Most droids want to be found. That’s because if they’re not found, they’re lost. C-​3PO def­i­nitely hated being lost, so we have to assume that’s a bad thing for a droid. Bet­ter to be found by Impe­r­ial Stormtroop­ers than those damn Jawas.

The prob­lem with Jawas is that they only know a few words. How many dif­fer­ent ways can you say “Utinni?” That’s because they com­mu­ni­cate by smell more than vocab­u­lary. Let’s face it, those smells can’t be pleas­ant. We’re talk­ing about crea­tures that live in a hot, desert cli­mate while dressed in robes they never seem to change while work­ing on greasy, lost droids. This is not a recipe for an agree­able fra­grance. Jawas are stinky lit­tle bastards.

You have to admit that some of those damn droids are get­ting a bit uppity. Imag­ine if your iMac was as sassy as R2-​D2. Sure, it may seem cute at first. Once that wears off and you’re try­ing to fin­ish some work, that sassy behav­ior becomes pretty annoying.

On the other hand, those damn droids are faster than the look. R2-​D2 may have been pok­ing along in the films, but he’s got some speed. I know that because I watched the Droid Races dur­ing Star Wars Cel­e­bra­tion (V and VI). I don’t know how they do man­age to go around curves at speed with­out wip­ing out, but some of those pup­pies looked turbo charged. Screw NASCAR. I’d rather see Droid Races on TV.